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Gary Chapman, long-time marriage counselor and author of The Five Love Languages, created the love languages model when he realized that romantic partners were expressing love in ways that were unnoticeable or unintuitive to the other. The change languages model offers a similar solution for addressing this same dynamic of miscommunication, but as it shows up in the relational, layered, and systemic work of change. A ‘MULTILINGUAL’ SOLUTION TO CHALLENGES WITH CHANGE Over the course of a year, I served as a member of a nonprofits strategic planning committee whose meetings were not unlike what I imagine some of Gary Chapmans marriage counseling sessions to be: confusing and dizzying at best, tense and threatening at worst. At first glance, this friction made no sense: outside of meetings, we had strong rapport, and we were all explicitly and thoroughly excited about the organizational change that this committee was tasked with realizing. But despite our shared commitment to the prospect of change, we struggled to talk about change in our meetings in ways that were mutually understood among the members: we couldnt carry the different needs and priorities that change surfaces. While on that strategic planning committee, I began building out the idea of extrapolating love languages into the domain of change. Similar to how Chapman drew connections across his counseling sessions, I drew connections across change efforts that had faltered or been miscommunicated during my 10-plus years in different roles: classroom teacher, professional development coach, nonprofit board member, union organizer, and organizational consultant. Each role and team always focused on organizational growth and transformation. After being pressure tested in real-world scenarios with clients and colleagues, the change languages were then put in tune to the insights of change-focused thinkers including Lisa Laskow Lahey and Robert Kegan (Immunity to Change), Adrienne Maree Brown (Emergent Strategy), and Damon Centola (Change: How to Make Big Things Happen). THE SIX CHANGE LANGUAGES The following definitions are intended not only to differentiate the six change languages, but also to help you identify which of the six resonate the most. Knowing which change language(s) you prefer to speak is prerequisite to noticing which of the six change languages are being spoken by other people. Big-picture clarity How we are at the small scale is how we are at the large scale. What we practice at the small scale sets the patterns for the whole system. Adrienne Maree Brown, Emergent Strategy If your change language is big-picture clarity, you feel grounded when you know where and how change is heading from the high-level perspective of systems, as well as when you can foresee how youll fit within and interact with these changing systems. When making sense of change, you feel compelled to map out a wide perspective on the situationclarifying intended or potential systemic outcomes, selecting the change management models that align most with your current situation, and perhaps even considering how your experience of change fits within broader political, international, and environmental contexts. Personal security It is not change that causes anxiety; it is the feeling that we are without defenses in the presence of what we see as danger that causes anxiety. Robert Kegan & Lisa Laskow Lahey, Immunity to Change If your change language is personal security, your own well-beingand the well-being of othersare front of mind. You make sure that no one is left on their own to navigate the consequences of change. When making sense of change, you are driven by the fundamental question, After all is said and done, who is and isnt going to be okay? Youll figure out how change might impact your workload, positionality, pursuit of professional goals, and even baseline employability. You have a strong preference for changes that minimize personal risk. Values alignment Dont ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Howard Thurman If your change language is values alignment, you feel most open to change when you and your team care about the same principles and are moving toward something you all believe in. Your inner senses of morality and purpose rationalize your negotiations with change. When making sense of change, you figure out how change can bolster (or interfere with) your, your teams, and your organizations pursuit of the mission at hand. (In fact, you probably have your orgs mission and/or vision statements bookmarked for frequent reference.) To you, change isnt worth pursuing if it isnt evidently aligned with your cause. Sense of continuity The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order. Alfred North Whitehead, Process and Reality If your change language is sense of continuity, you feel stabilized when present and future endeavors are clearly connected to past efforts. You prefer a sense of progress that builds on that past, rather than resets from it. When making sense of change, you listen to confirm that essential elements of the past will show up or matter in some recognizable future form. For example, if a team moves client meetings from an in-person to virtual format, you might want the same staff to be involved (for role preservation) or the tone of the interaction to stay consistent (for social-emotional familiarity). Otherwise, youll likely lose your bearings in the newness. Careful timing Both common sense and scientific evidence agree: repetition is a form of change. James Clear, Atomic Habits If your love language is careful timing, you feel most capable when change moves at the pace of trust and readiness: not too fast, not too slow, with space for inevitable relapses, mistakes, and misunderstandings. When making sense of change, even if you resonate with the rationale for implementing a particular change initiative, you might not hop fully onboard until you see a timeline for rolling out that initiative. You want to see change broken up into phases, each one providing time for you to absorb, mess up, learn, adjust, and eventually become ready to move onto the next phase. Fast-paced overhauls are one of your worst professional nightmares. Celebrating growth We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. Maya Angelou If you speak the language of celebrating growth, you feel resilient when progress is affirmed, feedback is given compassionately, and making transformation feels joyful. You dont want change to feel like a chore or task, but rater a source of fulfillment and satisfaction. When making sense of change, you prefer to have a sense of what will likely signal that change is moving in the right direction, so that you can be on the lookout for those signals. When you are in the thick of change, you seek tasks that you want to do, rather than need to do, as well as encouragement that honors your effort, not just your output. When change isnt enjoyable or imaginative, you feel dramatically less committed. What I’m tryoing to say is Change languages stand to benefit all areas of organizational change, from project management, to leadership development, to conflict resolution. They help us move through change relationallyrather than alone, undignified, or confused. Instead of resisting the fact that different people inevitably become attached to different aspects of change, we can embrace these differences with clarity, and therefore strengthen our chances of arriving somewhere more grounded, more aligned, and ultimately more fulfilled than where we started.
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I dont know if youve noticed, but email scams are getting surprisingly sophisticated. Weve had a handful of instances here at The Intelligence International Headquarters where weve had to do a double-takeor occasionally even the rarely seen triple-takeand put an authentic-seeming email under the metaphorical microscope to confirm that it was actually something shady. Spoiler alert: In each and every such instance, the email in question was, in fact, shady as all get-out. And at least a couple of times, we came dangerously close to missing it and falling for the trap. Thats why I was so intrigued when I came across the tool Im gonna share with you today. Its an incredibly useful resource for identifying fishy emails and instantly confirming that something isnt what it seemsand, in all likelihood, is out to try to scam you in some way. And it’s something Gmail, Outlook, and other mail providers aren’t even close to accomplishing with the same level of ease and sophistication. This is one youll absolutely want to hang onto. Be the first to find all sorts of little-known tech treasures with my free Cool Tools newsletter from The Intelligence. One useful new discovery in your inbox every Wednesday! Email scams, exposed The next time you see something potentially shifty in your inboxany email that raises your eyebrows even a little and makes you wonder, Could this possibly be legit?remember a crafty free service called Snitcher Space. Snitcher Space does just one thing and does it impressively well: It analyzes any email you send it, on the spot, and tells you if it seems likely to be a scamalong with exactly what red flags (if any) led to that verdict. It takes roughly five minutes to use, though most of that is just waiting for the analysis to be completed. Were really talkin maybe 10 seconds of actual active effort. Seriouslythere isnt much to it: The next time you come across a questionable-seeming email, just forward it to the address scan@snitcher.spaceright from your inbox, using the regular ol forwarding command within whatever email app or service you prefer. The first time you do so, youll get a confirmation email that youll need to click once to confirm. A single one-time confirmation is all it takes to start using Snitcher Space. Then, after a few minutes (or sometimes more, if the service is especially busyas it has been since this recommendation first appeared in my newsletter), youll get an email back with the complete scam analysis. All the info you need comes directly into your inbox, in a single-email analysis. Whats particularly helpful is that when Snitcher Space isnt sure of something, itll tell youand explain its logic so you can assess the situation for yourself. Here, for instance, is the result for an email one of us received recently where even Snitcher Space wasnt 100% sure about the legitimacy: If Snitcher Space isn’t entirely sure if an email is legitimate, it’ll tell youand offer you all the evidence to reach your own informed conclusion. Its a rare and refreshing treat to see that level of candor at a time when AI chatbots everywhere default to doubling down and confidently lying when they dont actually know something. And its just one more reason why Snitcher Space is a tool well worth your while to keep around and have ready to serve you whenever the need arises. Snitcher Space is entirely web-basedno apps and nothing to downloadthough youll actually interact with it entirely over email, simply by forwarding something to scan@snitcher.space. Its completely free to use. The company includes affiliate ads at the bottom of its analysis messages, which seems to be the main method of monetization at the moment. The service promises it deletes emails immediately after theyre scanned and doesnt store or share any manner of personal info. Ready for more smart tech treasures? Check out my free Cool Tools newsletter for an instant introduction to an incredible audio appand another off-the-beaten-path gem every Wednesday!
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While no one claimed having children was going to be cheap, the cost of back-to-school shopping gives me sticker shock every year. The National Retail Federation (NRF) estimates that the average household will spend just under $860 on back-to-school shopping for K-12 students returning to the classroom for the 2025-2026 academic year. (That said, depending on how the summer has gone, you may be willing to pay any price to get them back into a daily routine.) Parents of older kids arent off the hook, unfortunately. The NRF also estimates that the average household with a college student will spend $1,325 for all their needed supplies before returning them to campus. The good news is that back-to-school shopping doesnt have to overwhelm your budget, no matter how eye-watering the costs may seem. Heres what you need to know. Start with school fees School fees are easily forgotten, which makes them the costs most likely to bust a back-to-school budget. Youve probably got a basic mental tally of the school supplies, new clothes, electronics, and backpacks you need to buy for your kids, and its very easy to let those items take up the full budget you set aside for back-to-school expenses. Then its time to register your kids, and you learn you have to pay $80 per kid for school fees, plus $70 per kid for Chromebook insurance, and a $50 athletic participation fee so your daughter can join the swim team. This is not to mention prepaying their lunch account, prepurchasing a yearbook, and multiple other potential costs that can add up quickly. Thats why its a good idea to contact the school before you begin shopping to find out what school fees and optional costs you can expect. Then you can leave room in your back-to-school shopping budget rather than let the fees blow a hole in it. Know where to shop You can save a lot of money if you shop at the right places, starting in your own home. Take an inventory of your house The average American home has closets and drawers full of usable school suppliesoften still in their original packagingthat can be repurposed for your kids back-to-school shopping list. This is also true of the backpack full of stuff Junior has left marinating in the basement since the end of last school year. Provided the pack didnt include unwashed athletic socks (in which case, its probably achieved sentience and eaten the cat), careful excavation will likely unearth a number of perfectly good supplies that can be used again next year. Check local free trading programs In addition to taking inventory of your home, check for free stuff, too. Programs like Buy Nothing and Freecycle may also have some of the supplies you need. Obviously, youll spend time rather than money to use these programs, but the real benefit is keeping usable items out of the landfill. Online versus brick-and-mortar While doing all your shopping from your smartphone is convenient, its not necessarily cheaper. Brick and mortar stores may offer steeply discounted loss leaders to entice customers in, and many stores like Staples, Kohls, and JCPenney offer price matching in store. As for taking advantage of loss leaders, timing matters. Most weekly sales run from Sunday to Saturday, so youre more likely to find those deals if you shop early in the week. Just remember that the loss leader is designed to get to the storewhere youll be tempted to buy everything else you need at full price since youre already there. If you do buy online, check for promo codes before checking out to save money. Additionally, consider using a discount gift card to make your purchase. Sites like CardCash allow you to purchase gift cards to major online retailers for less than the face value. When to skimp and when to splurge While it may seem like all school supplies are basically the same, educators have been burned by cheaply made materials. This is why many teachers will specify the brand of marker, glue stick, or other supplies they want your child to have in their desk. After years of dried-out and unusable supplies, your childs teacher has strong opinions about off-brand options. Even if your teacher or their supply list doesnt provide guidance on when its okay to skimp and when to splurge, a good rule of thumb is to splurge on anything that gets frequent use and requires durability. Just remember that rule of thumb describes a laptop for a college student, but it also describes a box of crayons for a kindergartner. Its the most wonderful time of the year The smell of sharpened pencils is in the air, yellow school buses are returning to their routes, and students are vowing that this is the year theyll actually do all their homework on time. Dont let the fear of busting your budget on back-to-school shopping ruin this lovely moment. Reaching out to your childs school to determine what fees you may have to pay will help you set your back-to-school budget before you start shopping. From there, find as many free school supplies as you can in your own home and through local trading programs. When youre ready to shop, compare online and in-store deals to find the best prices. But while youre shopping, dont skimp on important supplies. The nations teachers will thank you.
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E-Commerce
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